good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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