we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
