I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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