i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
