He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Its about making memories worth repressing
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
how drunk are you?
Several
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
