I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You ate ashes out of my bong
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
