I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
