i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
