party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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