I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
