Can Purell be used as lube?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
