Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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