It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
ok first of all what the fuck
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
