When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
It's never too late to be topless.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
