Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
