I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I feel great
I just peed on a car
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
smell my finger.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Still dying that you shit outside
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
