so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
