susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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