my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
