why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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