Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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