wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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