For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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