i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
