Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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