dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
