i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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