oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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