Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
