ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
