we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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