this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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