who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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