im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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