If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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