my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
