nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
