I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
P.S. I can't hear my feet
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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