How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
