he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
