That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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