Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
