please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
