Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
