i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
