He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
