Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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