She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
