I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
