just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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