now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
