We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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