It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
